The truth about lying in online dating profiles
I wish I could say that this experience was isolated, but it’s been more the rule rather than the exception for me.
I think of all that CRUNK club-hopping I did in ATL back in the early days of the CFC.
The idea that we’re only attractive within a range of sizes is absurd. The homeboy of one of my homegirls happened to be in the club. My homegirl indicated to me at some point that I should make sure to meet him, because she thought we’d have similar interests.
Not one to be shy, I did at some point attempt to strike up a conversation. I mean he literally didn’t look me in the eye, made no real attempt at conversation, and pretty much gave me the brush off.
But the fact remains that I’m a short, dark-skinned, fat Black girl, with a natural.
I’m all those things in a culture that not only hates fat, and finds it repulsive, but also in a culture where fat dark-skinned women can only find roles in movies as maids.
I know that we have huge problems with obesity in Black communities.
I have thought long and hard about my relationship to food (and exercise), and I have started to make some changes in order to remain healthy.
And of course there is that story of the time that Crunkadelic and I went to one of those Big Beautiful Women parties.It was clear to me that he wasn’t really that interested in a serious thing with any of the girls at the bar that night. But why the cold shoulder, from a brother I’d never met?Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?But um, I’m not trying to date a dude with a fat fetish.No hate on fetishes, but being the object of that particular one feels…Getting back to Big Boi, the reality is that Big Girls do need love. So as much as I resent the limited range of desire that it seems (Black) men have and the ever-present male privilege that allows them to never have to interrogate their sexual and romantic investments, I hate my limited partnering prospects much more. ) In my thirties, I’m prioritizing self-care and that includes being loved on and getting my groove on. And I know for sure that those things are feminist.